From the beginning

2008 was a bumpy year. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship, just finished school, and was looking forward to my new working life. I took the summer off to just enjoy the sights and sounds of being with friends, doing whatever I wanted. Turns out it would all change in a heartbeat.

In august, I decided that I needed to find a job. I found this little shop called Cold Fusion. It worked with Herbalife products. It was nice, but I have never been one to sell products. Well while I was there, I would get these spells of faintness, and ended up passing out one time. I was sent to the hospital and that's when they told me that I was pregnant. Right there, my life had just changed. Now what was I going to do? Should I abort? Should I carry it out? Should I adopt? I had questions going through my head constantly. I knew who the father was, and I told him. He wasn't very happy about it. We finally had decided that I would abort it. I made the appointment, but then I had this little voice in my head that said you can't, along with my dear best friend trying to get me to change my mind. I eventually did. I continued to work at Cold Fusion, made some very dear friends. They helped me through the beginning part, hooked me up with a very loving family, who were willing I wanted that choice to adopt.

At this time I was 4 months along. The loving Hovland family had taken me in as a member of their family. At one point I thought I had miscarried, and went to a free clinic and heard the heartbeat for the first time. I was heartbroken, I thought I had miscarried, but turns out I didn't. Now what do I do? I have a baby growing inside me. The next day, I went to the Ob-gyn clinic and had my first ultrasound. Guess what they found? I was having twins. Sure enough, I was still getting over the shock that I was pregnant, then thinking not pregnant, and then getting news that I was going to have twins.

I finally got up the courage to call my mom in December. At this time, I had been going to biweekly ultrasounds, been told I was having a high risk pregnancy, possibility of one of the babies not getting enough blood, umbilical cords twisted, the news was unending.
I knew the news was going to be a shock to my mom. I made sure she was sitting down. Then I told her I was pregnant. I was 5 months along.

The next 3 months flew by. I was asked to live in a little house that the Hovlands had fixed up, it was like my own oasis. It was very comforting. It was the winter time in Duluth Mn. Roads weren't that great, ice everywhere. Why would a pregnant lady live alone? Beats me but I did.

It came February, haven't had a single issue with the pregnancy. Everything was a breeze. I went to a doc appointment and found out that I was dilated 1 cm. The doc put me in the hospital, and gave me all kinds of shots. Two for lung growth, one for muscle relaxor, one to stop the contractions. Some how I knew I felt fine, no complications. I knew I wasn't going into preterm labor. It was awful what they did to me. I felt sick from all the drugs they had pumped into my system.

March 22, I was having my baby shower. Lane had set it all up, got everyone that knew about me and my twins to come over and enjoy this time with me. It was so grateful. It was excellent. I got tons of clothes. (turns out it was the best donation anyone had given to me) Later that day, I went to a birthday party. There was loud music, singers, and odd food. All of the sudden I didn't feel good, I was emotional. I went home that night, and by 3 in the morn I was having contractions. Then my water broke. I had a doula who had been helping me since after I contacted my mom. We called her, and asked her to meet us at the hospital. I knew that I would be having these girls sometime today.

Contractions were bad, but not horrible. I had a team of friends around me including my mom and my doula. Everyone shared my pain in the contractions. My mom has found it funny that I would have a contraction and then go back to texting on my phone. By 5 o clock, monday march 23 2009, I was ready to have the girls. My doc told me I wasn't ready yet. I was only dilated to 9 cm.